What does this becoming nobody mean? These words which my teacher Ram Dass used to say. He often repeated “You’re not who you think you are” and when speaking of how we grew up getting caught in our roles he would say “Your parents really thought they were somebody, they really thought they were real.” What was he talking about? What was he pointing to?
The closest we can get in words to saying this is to say the YOU/I that 99% of the world is identified with is not really who you are. When somebody says who are you? And you say I am “John Jones” or whoever you say yourself to be, you are not that. This goes deeper than just the name and realizing it is fundamentally important for true self-realization. When you are walking around all day thinking this is me, this is mine, I have to do this, I’m worried about this, I’m excited for this, this makes me happy, this makes me sad, – The very thinker (not only the thoughts) is non-existent. Each thought arises and we think we are the one it arises to. We must ask ourselves “to whom do these thoughts arise” and we will see there is “nobody” there. So this incessant attachment we have to I, me and mine is what is called Ego – The sense of I. Ego is much more than thinking you are better than or worse than, although that is ego at its extreme. Ego is the very sense of Alex, Latunya, Max, Kelly, Parth, Prakruti, – whoever you think you are. So first we must know that all things whatsoever that arise in this thought pattern of me are illusions, are non-existent are not truth. Ramana Maharshi the great Indian saint used to say anything that changes is unreal, it never was, you must stay with the backdrop of reality – that which is eternal and never changes – this is your true nature.
So what are we really? Through the study of the teachings of the saints, and through my own direct realization and experiences with the boundlessness of mind – I have come to see what “we” are is a vast, infinite consciousness that extends far beyond the body and thoughts we feel ourselves to be. For me, when I nap or sleep at night, on the edges of consciousness I feel myself coming back from a place that i so far beyond “Alex”. That is completely infinite, without form and all-encompassing. This is why in India it is said Tat Tvam Asi – That Thou Art – Each of us is God or pure consciousness itself being filtered through into a separate form – We are firstly this – then we are a separate soul (jivatma in Hinduism), with karma (psychic DNA code, basically a bundle of seeds manifesting different possibilities, due to past actions, thoughts, intentions) and then we are a body with an ego. So the soul has this karma that its accumulated, these packets of energy, they can be called samskaras and they cause you to take birth and have certain karma to work out. Some seeds come forth in this life, some in another. But they have to be worked out, unless you can purify them and burn them up (which is what spiritual practice does) or they are taken by the Guru’s grace or another’s grace and transmuted for you. So it’s not wrong that we have the ego, and it is the only way we can really communicate on this plane, But mostly all of us are identified with it and therefore we suffer immensely. We think ourselves to be the “doer” – meaning the one doing the acts. The Buddah said as long as you think yourself the doer you’ll never be free. From my own insights, I have seen how what most people in the world do that they think is helping them – is actually miring them further and further into the cycle of birth and death.
Think of it like a video game – The real you is the one playing the game, when you forget that you get mad at the game and identified with it, when you remember it – it’s all a joke, just a game. So the spiritual path is unplugging yourself from this tiny, constricted, suffering, self you have identified with – that you think is going to die in a few years, or maybe go up to heaven and live there forever. In Christianity the idea of heaven has become “ I Alex will go to heaven”. But you have each lived so many lives on so many planes of reality as so many “people” or beings.
Therefore Alex isn’t real. This awareness I am has lived millions of lives before Alex, and will live after him. This life is a finger snap in eternity. So there’s this level, and there’s the level on which we are birthless, deathless and outside of space and time.
Swami Ram Tirth talks about this here:
I have no scruple of change, nor fear of death,
Nor was I ever born,
Nor had I parents.
I am existence Absolute, knowledge Absolute, bliss Absolute,
I am That, I am That,
I cause no misery, nor am I miserable;
I have no enemy, nor am I enemy.
I am existence Absolute, knowledge Absolute, bliss Absolute,
I am That, I am That,
I am without form, without limit,
Beyond space, beyond time,
I am in everything, everything is in me.
I am the bliss of the universe,
Everywhere am I.
I am existence Absolute, knowledge Absolute, bliss Absolute,
I am That, I am That,
I am without body or change of the body,
I am neither senses, nor object of the senses,
I am existence Absolute, knowledge Absolute, bliss Absolute,
I am That, I am That,
I am neither sin, nor virtue,
Nor temple, nor worship,
Nor pilgrimage, nor books.
I am existence Absolute, knowledge Absolute, bliss Absolute,
I am That, I am That.
In The Bhagvad Gita Krishna says: He who thinks himself the slayer or slain is not in knowledge – for the self neither slays nor is slain. It cannot be burnt by fire, wet by water or blown out by the wind. It is eternal, present everywhere, it does not die when the body dies.
So how do we get there? Well, sadhana (spiritual practice) is essential because if you don’t do anything, nothing changes, and maybe you believe my words, but you never become it and you keep suffering on the wheel, birth death, birth, death, with only small moments where you come up for air. The more spiritual practice we do, the less we get caught, the more karma we burn the closer we get to God, our true selves. It is true that once getting there all is seen as perfect, that once outside of time all are already liberated and there is no need for anyone to do anything. But this ultimate realization is largely theoretical until we have attained it, so while in a body there is the seeming need to act.
Whether we are doing mantras, prayer, meditation, devotion, selfless service, cultivating wisdom, or all of the above, these practices ultimately lead us to the truth. The truth which we are. In India our true nature is called Sat-Chit-Ananda – Absolute Consciousness, Absolute Existence, Absolute Bliss – I have tasted this, but because of my attachment to “Alex” and my family and pets, I come back down and I get sad when I do because I see the fleeting nature of these forms, and this life and it hurts. Currently, this is where my work lies.
Beautiful